Clay and the retreat
The funny thing about ladies retreats are. . . well. . . the ladies. You have to sit and chat and talk about all sorts of interesting things. But one friend told me this weekend that I could talk to a rock and carry on a conversation so I guess I'm well suited. I've been on several retreats and have pretty much hated them all. Some were amazingly luxurious where we stayed in a great hotel, others much less fancy but this one tops them all in that department. Or perhaps is lower in the accommodations department. Here is a quick run down of our quarters.
super narrow bunks, but surprisingly comfortable. (we slept on top so that we could get the breeze from the fan)
toilets that don't flush although there's a bucket of water around the corner to use to flush so not altogether bad. You have to squat though.
the COLD shower. I had to strip down and wrap up in my malong since there's no clean or dry place to set anything. Makes it challenging and I had a good laugh trying to traipse around barely covered. I did learn how to wrap, tie, wear a malong! (a long tube of fabric that is many things at different times!) Most ladies opted not to shower I think.
The outside sink after using the restroom or for teeth brushing. But no matter what I'm so thankful for running water!!
But this was my view while I prayed and worshiped the Lord. It was amazing! And I actually liked this retreat! I think what made this retreat different is what I talked about in my last post. God has been changing and growing me in so many ways. The ladies that flew over from the US to run the retreat prayed so hard and I felt those prayers! It's amazing to see how God provided for me through them.
But now I'm back at home and it's harder. Harder to remember the lessons I've learned, harder to stay patient and pliable. I feel as though I've hardened my clay a bit and am not seeking out what God has to teach me, and that's when His shaping hurts more. So I'm praying that God will keep me mold-able, that He'll keep sending His rain to keep me ready for Him. Like I said last time, I like the me now better than the she of before and I am afraid of becoming that she again. Re-learning things is not what I want, I want to retain that knowledge and keep moving forward. May I continually push forward to a deeper more intimate knowledge of Him and that I see me and others as He sees us.
That was my prayer at the retreat. That I would grow more in LOVE. His love, for myself and for those around me, if I see them as He sees them I can't help but love them because He loves them so. That is my prayer!
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