Back to Blogging
I know it's been a long time since I've blogged.
There are several reasons for that, none of them really good reasons, but they are reasons nonetheless.
While we were in the US, we were busy and enjoying all the things we hadn't for so long. We spent a lot of time driving the kids to school, traveling between families and speaking. It was a great time, but we were with you (well those of you in OK mostly). I let it slide and didn't keep up on the blogging, so yes, I rationalized it and thought, well, I'll get back to it once we are in the Philippines.
So lets fast forward to getting back here to the Philippines. Have you heard that saying, if you have nothing good to say then better to say nothing at all? Well, I think that sums up my lack of blogging these last 6 months, well that and laziness. I don't want to let you think that I haven't done my fair share of complaining, it's just that I haven't done it on the blog.
We have been back for almost 6 months now and it has been a never-ending crazy difficult time. That's not to say that everything has been hard, but lots of it has been.
I'm not sure what makes it so hard, but I do think it has a great deal to do with expectations. When you expect something to be one way and it ends up being different, that creates this conflict and frustration inside you. So I think I expected life here to be the same as it was before but it isn't because the people aren't the same.
Let me explain that a little bit. When you live overseas, the small group of foreigners become a substitute family. They are the people you call when you run out of money and the atm machines are all out of cash. They are the ones you call when you need to take your kid to the ER and have no idea where or how to do that. They are the ones you call when you feel like you can't continue and don't know what to do. We would call our family but our internet is down or it's the middle of the night for them, or they just don't understand no matter how hard they try to. So we become very close to these people, they become my sister, or my mother or my best friend. They fill the gaps that are brought by the distance and time that separate me from my real family, no they aren't the same but they are here. But this is a double edged sword, because as close as I allow them while I am here, that is how much harder it becomes when they leave, and leave they almost always do. We live in a transitory world, people's jobs change, their kids needs change and our support levels change. And we can't always stay. So every year or so, we have to balance out who is coming and will they be a friend or just a coworker, and how to stay somewhat connected with those who have left but who we still love. And sometimes how to live near someone who has decided that they no longer want to be your friend. Because no matter how hard we try to hold on to our friendships, they sometimes fall apart. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has ever experienced these things, but somehow they are magnified when the choices are so few. So this has been my past 6 months. Grieving Davao without a few friends that I had grown to love who had left while we were in the US. Grieving a friendship that is no more and trying to eek out every last moment of fun with a friend who left just a few weeks ago.
So... we look forward to the teachers who will come replace the 3 that have gone, and pray that those jobs are filled, but also we pray that the people who fill those positions will also become friends. We look forward to what school life will be like with a new leader at the helm. We are grateful for the opportunity to serve at Faith Academy Mindanao, and look forward to how God will use us. The past 6 months have been hard. They have seen many tears and times of pain, but I am praying that the next 6 months will be full of hope and joy. Pray with us please that God can use us and teach us, and grow us and perhaps most of all, fill us with a contentment to serve joyfully no matter what we face.
And yes, I'm back to blogging again come rain or shine.......
There are several reasons for that, none of them really good reasons, but they are reasons nonetheless.
While we were in the US, we were busy and enjoying all the things we hadn't for so long. We spent a lot of time driving the kids to school, traveling between families and speaking. It was a great time, but we were with you (well those of you in OK mostly). I let it slide and didn't keep up on the blogging, so yes, I rationalized it and thought, well, I'll get back to it once we are in the Philippines.
So lets fast forward to getting back here to the Philippines. Have you heard that saying, if you have nothing good to say then better to say nothing at all? Well, I think that sums up my lack of blogging these last 6 months, well that and laziness. I don't want to let you think that I haven't done my fair share of complaining, it's just that I haven't done it on the blog.
We have been back for almost 6 months now and it has been a never-ending crazy difficult time. That's not to say that everything has been hard, but lots of it has been.
I'm not sure what makes it so hard, but I do think it has a great deal to do with expectations. When you expect something to be one way and it ends up being different, that creates this conflict and frustration inside you. So I think I expected life here to be the same as it was before but it isn't because the people aren't the same.
Let me explain that a little bit. When you live overseas, the small group of foreigners become a substitute family. They are the people you call when you run out of money and the atm machines are all out of cash. They are the ones you call when you need to take your kid to the ER and have no idea where or how to do that. They are the ones you call when you feel like you can't continue and don't know what to do. We would call our family but our internet is down or it's the middle of the night for them, or they just don't understand no matter how hard they try to. So we become very close to these people, they become my sister, or my mother or my best friend. They fill the gaps that are brought by the distance and time that separate me from my real family, no they aren't the same but they are here. But this is a double edged sword, because as close as I allow them while I am here, that is how much harder it becomes when they leave, and leave they almost always do. We live in a transitory world, people's jobs change, their kids needs change and our support levels change. And we can't always stay. So every year or so, we have to balance out who is coming and will they be a friend or just a coworker, and how to stay somewhat connected with those who have left but who we still love. And sometimes how to live near someone who has decided that they no longer want to be your friend. Because no matter how hard we try to hold on to our friendships, they sometimes fall apart. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has ever experienced these things, but somehow they are magnified when the choices are so few. So this has been my past 6 months. Grieving Davao without a few friends that I had grown to love who had left while we were in the US. Grieving a friendship that is no more and trying to eek out every last moment of fun with a friend who left just a few weeks ago.
So... we look forward to the teachers who will come replace the 3 that have gone, and pray that those jobs are filled, but also we pray that the people who fill those positions will also become friends. We look forward to what school life will be like with a new leader at the helm. We are grateful for the opportunity to serve at Faith Academy Mindanao, and look forward to how God will use us. The past 6 months have been hard. They have seen many tears and times of pain, but I am praying that the next 6 months will be full of hope and joy. Pray with us please that God can use us and teach us, and grow us and perhaps most of all, fill us with a contentment to serve joyfully no matter what we face.
And yes, I'm back to blogging again come rain or shine.......
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